


be yourself my ally in love's battle

by politicalmamaduck



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Leia Organa Needs a Hug, Leia: Princess of Alderaan references and compliant, No Pregnancy, Post-Star Wars: Bloodline, Safe to Read if You're Triggered by Pregnancy, Short One Shot, Star Wars: Bloodline-Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 09:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21425698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/politicalmamaduck/pseuds/politicalmamaduck
Summary: When they first met, Leia found Amilyn quite odd. Her brightly colored hair and astrology references made her stand out in any setting. Her unique persona made many underestimate her; however, she was a brilliant strategist and a formidable foe, loyal and also calming, strongly aware of the living Force.Leia needed that intellect and soothing presence now more than ever.
Relationships: Amilyn Holdo/Leia Organa
Comments: 13
Kudos: 27
Collections: Star Wars Rare Pairs Exchange 2019





	be yourself my ally in love's battle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lady_needless_litany](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_needless_litany/gifts).

> I’ve always found it important and enjoyed exploring Leia’s battles with mental illness in my writing. I was thrilled that _Resistance Reborn_ so beautifully touched on what I had always known in my heart. This fic is no different in that regard, although I wanted her relationship with Amilyn to be very soft and tender. I also wanted to highlight Leia’s Force sensitivity and Amilyn’s attunement to the Force.   
I hope you will like this. Thank you for the opportunity to write a gift featuring two of my favorite Star Wars ladies and a fantastic prompt!  
Title taken from Sappho’s “Ode to Aphrodite.”

One by one, her loved ones disappeared.

A presence she had felt every day, as if another part of her soul, for the past twenty-four years vanished, leaving her feeling like her heart had been ripped from her chest. 

She’d thought she’d spend the rest of her life with her life partner, but he was gone, another adventure awaiting him elsewhere. All that remained was an empty apartment, one that could never contain his larger-than-life persona. They had to deal with their grief in their own ways, even if she hadn’t realized it at the time. 

She had lost her son to an evil more profound than she could have imagined, an evil she thought had been defeated with the Emperor and the second Death Star.

Even her astromech droid powered down into a slumber from which it might never wake, lost in its own circuits and wiring, its reassuring beeps and squeaks silent. 

Leia Organa was alone, truly alone, for seemingly the first time since her cell on the first Death Star, all those years ago. 

She had never given much to sentiment, and earned her heartless, icy reputation days thereafter, when she would allow no one to see her cry for Alderaan. 

If she were truly alone, like she was then, she wouldn’t have allies to comm, business to conduct, a new Resistance to build. 

So the princess turned senator turned general did what she did best, allowing herself no more time for her sorrows, and threw herself back into her work. 

Admiral Ackbar would come, the wise elder statesman and soldier loyal as ever. But he was not the only admiral she would need to build her Resistance. 

There was someone else she needed, more than she wanted to admit, not just as a leader and powerful political presence, but also as a friend. She had far too few true friends left to her. 

Leia took a deep breath, centering herself in the Force like her missing brother had taught her to do. Thinking of her brother reminded her of another desperate message she sent when all hope seemed lost.

_ Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope. _

_ Help me, Amilyn Holdo. You’re my only hope. _

When they first met, Leia found Amilyn quite odd. Her brightly colored hair and astrology references made her stand out in any setting. Her unique persona made many underestimate her; however, she was a brilliant strategist and a formidable foe, loyal and also calming, strongly aware of the living Force.

Leia needed that intellect and soothing presence now more than ever.

She pressed the button, and let the Force flow through her. 

Upon seeing her friend, her bright eyes and smile, her hair pink again, the words tumbled from her lips, like the two girls had tumbled in the snow all those years ago. The bitter cold on Alderaan then matched the ice encrusting Leia Organa’s heart now. 

“Ben is gone.” Her voice broke like an icicle snapping in half. 

“What does gone mean?” Amilyn asked, as Leia knew she would. Amilyn was always one for detail, for deeper meanings. But she did not shrink away from painful truths; she did not coat them in a politician’s persona, obfuscate their meaning like so many of their former colleagues. 

Nor did Leia.

“Turned,” she answered, her frigid heart sinking like a dead weight. “Turned to the Dark Side, seduced by Snoke and the First Order.” It was the first time she had spoken the words aloud. 

Amilyn and Leia both breathed. 

“And Luke?” Amilyn asked. “Also gone,” Leia replied. “Into exile.”

“And Han?” 

“He’s gone too. Smuggling and racing again.”

Amilyn sighed. “Who else knows?”

“No one,” Leia whispered. Her voice may have broken, but she would not break. She could not, and had never broken, even though there had been more than one occasion on which she’d wanted to. 

“I know you said you were done with politics,” Leia said, trying to laugh, trying to ease the pain in her chest.

Amilyn also laughed, wryly. “I might be done with politics; that doesn’t mean politics is done with me. What do you need?”

“Leaders, warriors, pilots. An infrastructure and funding. Institutional support from the New Republic. But most importantly, my best friend.”

Amilyn nodded. “It will be just like we’re building the Rebellion again.”

“Not just a rebellion, but a resistance. Amilyn, it won’t be easy.”

“Gatalanta is getting boring again anyway. I’ll pack and come right away. Who else do you have?” 

“Ackbar is on his way. There’s some bright young New Republic pilots who can help us, and a contingent of Senators who will do so through back channels.”

“Hope is like the sun,” Amilyn said, fixing Leia with her steely gaze. “May the Force be with you, Leia. I’ll see you in a few days.”

Leia nodded, knowing they would continue the conversation more privately in person. “May the Force be with you, Amilyn.”

Leia set her comm down, and went to look at the setting Chandrilan sun. Amilyn quoted her own phrasing back to her.  _ Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you’ll never make it through the night. _

Leia allowed herself to believe, once more, once again, and certainly not for the last time. Her family was gone, but she had Amilyn, and she had hope.

* * *

Amilyn arrived, and Leia welcomed her into her empty apartment, only C-3PO left to assist them. 

They sank into the sofa with steaming cups of Gatalentan tea, something Amilyn never forgot to pack and carry with her at all times. 

Leia allowed her best friend to hold her, to stroke her hair, to help her undo her mourning braids.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had help undoing her braids. It was among the most intimate acts in Alderaanian society, one usually reserved for lovers. 

Leia had met the first person she allowed that particular intimacy at the same time she met Amilyn, over thirty years before. 

All of a sudden, she felt the weight and exhaustion of all those years bearing down upon her. She allowed her best friend to bear the weight with her, to continue holding her while the tears streamed down her face, as she allowed herself to think and feel, and realize what the woman before her truly meant to her. She could be vulnerable with Amilyn in a way she could with few others. They had always been there for each other, through the danger and stress in the Rebellion to their quieter lives at present. Their relationship was a constant, a ray to which they could cling when hope’s sun seemed like it was setting. 

They sat, quietly, on the sofa, sipping their tea, until Amilyn gently kissed the top of Leia’s head and pressed their foreheads together. 

“I love you, Leia,” she murmured, her eyes closed. “I always have and I always will.”

“I love you too,” Leia replied, breathing deeply, letting herself be unguarded. 

Their lips met, slowly, each allowing the other to reflect and convey their depth of feeling. Amilyn’s hands found their way to Leia’s hair once more, while Leia stroked Amilyn’s cheek. In her best friend and oldest ally, she was home again, alone no longer.

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you as always to my beta boo Desiree for her thoughtful suggestions. Please do leave me a comment with your thoughts.


End file.
